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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964989">Remember Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_more_offbeat_anthem/pseuds/one_more_offbeat_anthem'>one_more_offbeat_anthem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(okay more like cosmic beings in a man's vessel crying but whatever), Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Crying, Curses, Divine Visions, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Memory Loss, Men Crying, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Witch Curses, Witches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:26:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,656</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_more_offbeat_anthem/pseuds/one_more_offbeat_anthem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been a month since Dean lost his memory thanks to a witch’s curse on a hunt, and Cas and Sam are at their wit’s end. Although Cas may have known the secret to unlocking Dean’s memories all along.....he just didn’t have the courage to act on it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>121</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Remember Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>And I remember when one single moment was enough</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And this is toughest to be because you want it too</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's not that far</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At least it didn't seem so from down there</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But from up here</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It seems that everything I love is so far away</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There used to be many things I could hold and touch</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And grab onto stormy weather</em>
</p><p>
  <em>These days we have each other</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>—from “It’s Hard to Be Religious When Certain People Aren’t Struck by Bolts of Lightning” by Mayday Parade</em>
</p><p>*********************************************************************************************************************************************</p><p>“Are you sure we’ve tried everything?” Sam asked Cas for the umpteenth time that day, “Read every book, looked up every curse?”</p><p>Cas sighed, pressing his hands into his forehead, “Yes. And you heard what Rowena said when she came by last week. If she doesn’t know what’ll fix it, then there’s no way we can figure it out.”</p><p>Sam said what was on Cas’s mind: “Then we’re doomed.”</p><p>Without Dean’s years of hunting knowledge, there was no way that Cas and Sam would be able to take on some of the looming, ever-present threats they dealt with. Not to mention that, with Dean here but unable to remember them, or anything else, morale was low.</p><p>Cas had stopped cataloging everything Dean <em>didn’t </em>know, because it hurt. He didn’t know Cas was an angel, or that Sam was his brother. He didn’t know that he loved pie. He didn’t know that his Impala was the most precious thing to him in any and every reality.</p><p>And it was killing them.</p><p>Cas couldn’t speak for Sam, but it felt like a knife in his ribs every time Dean called him Castiel, instead of the usual “Cas” or “buddy.” He was sure Sam felt similarly when he was always Sam, never “Sammy.” And the Impala was never “Baby.”</p><p>What hurt the most was that it was <em>supposed </em>to be Cas. Dean had gotten the curse by diving in front of him, essentially saving him from this fate. And now Cas couldn’t even thank him, because Dean <em>didn’t remember doing it. </em>They had even had to tell him about all the monsters they fought—and he did not, at first, believe them. Now he was skeptical. And learning to fight again—although his muscles remembered some of it.</p><p>“Hey,” Sam said, sitting down next to Cas at the library table and breaking his revere, “Why the long face?”</p><p>Cas looked up at him, “It was supposed to be me, Sam.”</p><p>“But you can’t keep blaming yourself. Dean was saving you because he cares about you. You would have done the same for him.”</p><p>“<em>Cared </em>about me. This Dean doesn’t even remember I exist.” Cas pushed his chair back and stomped out of the library.</p><p>He wasn’t exactly sure where in the bunker he was trying to go. He found himself walking past Dean’s room—the door was open, and Dean was watching something. Cas heard the familiar voice of <em>Dr. Sexy, M.D. </em>and sighed. They had told Dean this was his favorite show—and current Dean was watching it, so that had to amount to something. Cas wished that he and Sam could be goading Dean about Dr. Sexy again—but Dean didn’t remember their inside jokes. Maybe they were going to have to accept that this was just how Dean <em>was </em>now.</p><p>But Cas couldn’t help but think…he had once rebuilt Dean from scratch. Why couldn’t he do that to Dean’s memories?</p><p>He had thought about it, but had decided it was too risky—and Rowena hadn’t brought it up, which made Cas think that maybe it wasn’t a viable solution. But how much would it hurt to send Dean a few divine visions of his memories—of the imprint of his soul Cas had picked up rescuing him, raising him from Perdition all those years ago?</p><p>Cas got to his own room and leaned his head against the door before pushing it open and sitting on his bed.</p><p>What if he messed things up?</p><p>What if he made New Dean even worse, or made his memories permanently vanish? Should he ask Sam first?</p><p>No, he had just stomped off on Sam.</p><p>That was the thing.</p><p>Dean cared about Cas, and Cas knew it, had known it, for a long time. After the whole “being stabbed upon meeting” thing back in the barn, Cas had quickly become integrated in the brother’s lives, becoming a nearly permanent fixture. And while Cas and Sam certainly got along well and were very good friends (in some ways, Cas found Sam sort of like a brother), Dean was…different.</p><p>Sam had summed it up—Dean was protecting Cas because he cared, and Cas would have done the same thing, and because Cas knew Dean’s soul, could sometimes <em>feel </em>it, he knew exactly what sort of care that meant…</p><p>That settled it.</p><p>Cas was doing this.</p><p>He shut his eyes, ignoring the pang in his chest as he thought about what Dean would say if he saw him now, sitting cross-legged on his bed in his shoes and trench coat, and took several deep, calming breaths.</p><p>Well, they were supposed to calm him. They didn’t work. Cas was quite nervous.</p><p>He concentrated, and then, in the blink of an eye, sent a divine vision of massive proportions to Dean. It was hard—Dean wasn’t praying, this Dean didn’t pray, not even to Cas—and Cas instantly felt himself become immeasurably exhausted, which was unusual for an angel.</p><p>He slumped over, falling off the bed with a crash, and everything went dark. The last thing Cas remembered was mumbling to himself, <em>I hope I can save you, too.</em></p><p>
  <em>*****</em>
</p><p>“Cas?”</p><p>Something was shaking his shoulder.</p><p>“Cas, buddy, you alright?”</p><p>More shaking.</p><p>“Cas, I need you to wake up, c’mon.”</p><p>With great effort, Cas managed to open his eyelids. The room spun around him, a face looming above him. He blinked once, twice, before making out the familiar green eyes, light smattering of freckles, and short, messy hair that made up Dean Winchester.</p><p>Cas tried to sit up, but Dean pushed him back down firmly, “Nope. You’re not looking so good.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine,” Cas swallowed.</p><p>“I came in here to see if anything was wrong…” Dean started, “I, uh, heard something.”</p><p>That was it, then.</p><p>Dean hadn’t heard the vision—he had just heard Cas fall. He had failed.</p><p>“Not, uh, sure it was something you meant for me to hear, but…..” Dean rocked back on his heels until he was sitting instead of kneeling, “I had to come check on you.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Cas struggled to sit up again, actually accomplishing it this time, “I didn’t mean to fall off the bed.”</p><p>“That’s not what I meant, although I’m worried about that, too.”</p><p>“That’s not what you—“</p><p>
  <em>Buddy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I need you to wake up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I had to come check on you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cas?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cas.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cas.</em>
</p><p>“Dean.”</p><p>“I’m right here,” Dean replied, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Cas took a deep breath, “You gave me a gift once. I tried to give it back. What was it? What was it called?”</p><p>“It was a mixtape, I called it…Deans top 13 Zepp TRA XX, I think. You made fun of my grammar later. Why?”</p><p>Cas started to cry.</p><p>“Oh no, Cas, what’s—“ Dean’s face folded into concern, “What’s wrong? Are you supposed to—can angels cry? Are they supposed to….” He didn’t bother to finish that sentence, but instead scooted closer to Cas, pressing Cas’s face into his flannel, hugging him, holding him close, “What happened? It was just a lousy mixtape.”</p><p>Cas hiccuped (something he didn’t know he could do), and then said, his face still pressed into Dean’s chest, “You seriously don’t remember?”</p><p>Dean pulled back, just far enough away to see Cas clearly but still close, “Remember what?”</p><p>“You—“ Cas hiccuped again, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “You lost your memory for a month! Sam and I tried everything! We even contacted Rowena!”</p><p>“What do you mean? I was just in my room, watching Dr. Sexy….and then you sent me some vision or something, I think.”</p><p>“I was sending you your soul—trying to give you your memories back. I guess—<em>hic—</em>I guess it worked.”</p><p>“Cas, that wasn’t—that wasn’t the only thing in the vision.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Dean swallowed, his concern shifting into awkwardness, “You, uh……you said you loved me.”</p><p>“….I did?”</p><p>Dean raised an eyebrow, “Did you mean it?”</p><p>Cas meant to say yes, but instead what he said was, “Did you mean to jump in front of me when that witch was cursing me?”</p><p>“It wasn’t a planned thing. It was more of a reflex.”</p><p>“Then just call that message….a reflex.” Cas reddened slightly as Dean stared at him. If he didn’t know that the hunter was just human, he would have thought Dean was staring into his soul.</p><p>Cas stood up, slowly, clumsily, already feeling less light-headed, “We better go tell Sam you’re back in business-it’s been rough.”</p><p>Dean stood up, too, putting them within inches of each other, “What?”</p><p>“You didn’t remember us. At all. Or anything.”</p><p>“Well, in case I lose my memories again…..” Dean was smiling, and it was a real Dean smile, one that warmed Cas, “There’s something I better take care of before we go find my little brother.”</p><p>Cas tilted his head in confusion, but before he could get very far, Dean was kissing him, and Cas felt himself—without any discernible effort on his part—kissing him back, their mouths gently opening to accommodate the other’s lips. It was somehow both chaste and passionate, and Cas found himself burying his head in Dean’s shoulder again.</p><p>“You sap, crying during our first kiss?” Dean said, “I’m going to make fun of you over that forever.”</p><p>“It’ll be worth it,” Cas replied, wiping his eyes, “It’ll be completely worth it.”</p>
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